The real inspiration....

I have always expressed my passion for films to many people untill to the extend that , they just kind of like ignore me whenever I start to speak because they think Im going to start talking about films, and films only...hehehe, I can understand the agony they go through but at times I do get a little upset when people pretend that they are listening...anyway, i basically have shut myself a bit in terms of speaking out about films...

Now, the reason why Im writing this is because, I share with you guys, what was the real inspiration initially that made me choose Film making as my future. It was in the beginning of 2002, I was in form 2 and school just started, before that, I basically had a blast the previous year as I became a prefect and we were all like a family in the prefect board. I still remember, I was so freaking jovial, talk a lot and never fail to make people laugh. so when I was heading to school in 2002, I was expecting the same reception and atmosphere... but to my horror it was never the same anymore..

The friends that I used to have suddenly became very cold and started to ignore me, even at times I was ridiculed by them whenever I cracked jokes etc etc and this really affected me a lot and I seriously didn't know what to do or how to react to this. This new experience really brought in a lot of negativity in me and my low self esteem attitude was born. From a very jovial and talkative person, I became a man who is afraid to speak up to people. I became very quiet...even to an extend that I would be almost invincible to people even when Im around with them.

Things continued to be the same and I became more and more depressed.... During this time, my only remedy that made me feel better was movies, but I never realized it... I used to watch tons of movies and be so engrossed with the performance of the actors, the story and they way how the film was executed. Suddenly, this one indian movies released..and it change the way how I think and looked at movies forever. You see, I always say Im an avid Mani Ratnam, Kaamal hassan and Malayalam Actor Mohanlal fan, but these great artist never inspired me to want to pursue my career in the film making field... well, I know some people are going to kutuk me if I say the name of the film, the actor and the director who inspired me, but what the heck, Im just saying the truth.

The movie that inspired me was Kabhie Khushi Kabhie Gham. YESS!!! IT WAS A SHAH RUKH KHAN FILM!! A KARAN JOHAR DIRECTED FILM!!!! I KNOW!!!.. yeah... that was one film that made me think about film making... The critical reception the Film got when it was released, the amount of people who just wont stop talking about the performance of the actors, the way how the movie touched people Feelings, Emotions and how people viewed their parents after watching that film..IT WAS MIND BLOWING!!!!! When I watched the film, I was really amazed to see how the actors managed to make us; the audience to cry, how Karan Johar: the director to write a story and script that kept the audience glued to their seats from start till end without budging.... How a simple story; "ITS ALL ABOUT LOVING YOUR PARENTS" created massive waves around the world. The best part, how Shah Rukh Khan, Amitabh Bachan and Hritik Roshan's performance made fans go gaga about them...... WOW!!!!!

I started thinking... Maybe if I also become an actor, or a director.... I will be famous.... I will have people going crazy over me... people will surround me where ever I go... I wont feel alone anymore.... At that moment, I told myself.. you are going to be a Film Director and a FILM STAR!!!! After that, I started doing tons of research on film making and watched all sorts of movies.... Years went by, and my knowledge on Films were deeper and deeper...From the ambition of wanting to achive and lead a glamorous life, I realize that there is more that we can achieve..I realised that cinema is no more a medium of entertainment, cinema is a medium of EDUCATION!!!

That thought again changed my interest and my view towards film making once again... It became my passion.. I no longer wanted to make or act in films for the money or glamour, but what challenge can I take to be an artist? How can I guide my audience and leave an impact to them through my visualization or performance?.. what noble messages can I apply to them audience on life? These made me look at Cinema as a sacred industry.. I started watching less commercial film's and became an avid fan of some great prominent directors like Francis Ford Coppola, Mani Ratnam my Guru,Ram Gopal Verma, a Indian director I admire a lot, Michael Mann, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas for their science Fiction masterpieces, M. NIght Syamalan for being an excellent director with a difference.. Director Shankar for dreaming big and larger than life.... and not forgetting, the Iron Lady of MALAYSIAN CINEMA, The late Yasmin Ahmad for her Bold films and Dare to be different attitude of portraying the real Malaysia.. Marvelous!!!

Today, I wont say Im a Karan Johar fan because I realise he is just a normal director who makes movies suitable for everyone to watch.. nothing really creative except his emotional scenes and how he portrays these emotional scenes so well... but I will never forget him because it was his film that I got inspired... Definitely, if you ask me, I would not want to make a film like his because I feel its very commercialized, but then again because of that, he is considered a very successful director, but I would want to do different movies like how Kaamal Hassan, M.Night Shyamalan does as they are very different......

K3G...... The masterpiece of its own kind that made me convert to the religion of CINEMA...

Thank You Karan Johar.....

Now.... I am still praying and Hoping I will get an opportunity to pursue my dreams.. Until then, I will never give up HOPE.....

Life... So Far

I know... its been ages.... seriously, didnt have the mood to post anything at all....hehehehe.. but today, out of the blues... i suddenly felt like writing..... so here I am :-)...

Well, life so far hasn't been really bad, was attached to a media company where I worked as an production assistant. I co-ordinated some programs produced by the company for ASTRO. it was quite a challenge really but all was well..... during my stint over there, i managed to befriend with some great people from the media industry and we all clicked quite well, miss those times actually.... anyway, after three months over there, i decided to quit due to some unavoidable circumstances and was jobless for almost 2 months.... but i was lucky as i got an opportunity to try my luck in Radio Televisyen Malaysia. I was called for an interview and a month later, I was accepted.... so now, im back in the working life.... I have joined as a news editor where i write news scripts for english news you see on TV2. Its a good job and Im payed quite well.

Despite this work not being related to my main passion, which is film making, Im happy that I got a break in RTM. because I believe there is always a stepping stone for everything you do, so for me RTM is my stepping stone, maybe not now, but one day I will surely get my chance somehow through this media station. At the moment, Im really putting in effort to learn a lot of things from the News room as it will be an advantage for me. I even met and befriended many prominent people in the media industry like Mr. Pandi Doorai, a famous tamil news reader, and my very own boss, Mr. Harjit Singh Hullon who is a legendary news presenter himself. I really thank God that I have been given a chance to work along side these great people... not only that, I have some really good working colleges who is always there to help me when Im not sure about something.

So far, everything looks promising, as long as I do whatever I need to do well, Im safe.. but the one thing that I am a bit upset is that.... when we gain something, we tend to lose something in return... nature of life... what to do... things that is meant to happen will happen.. we just cant prevent it no matter what we do.... Another thing I realized these past few months is that, at times, people only talk cock!!!! seriously, they will tell us so many things about themselves, who they know, what they can do etc etc.. they will even assure us that they will help us when we are in need and all, but when we really go and stand in front of them seeking help... you will hear another hundred reasons why they are not in a situation to help out at the moment!!! Just like the saying.. EMPTY VESSEL MAKES THE MOST NOISE!!!! hehehehe

Anyway, I guess I am quite settled down for now with these wonderful job... just making use of my working time learning things... and I have to say, Im really proud to be an RTM staff.... My perception of these media station totally changed when I entered.. there is just so many cool things you can see and learn in RTM.. Thank GOd for that... so thats all folks..take care and hope to write soon and not twenty years later :-P..hehehehehe

2011

Goodbye 2010, hello 2011.. Happy New Year to all and have a wonderful new year ahead. I just hope this is not going to be the last New Year for us as 2012 is just NEXT YEAR!!!!



Any way, well I guess most of us have new resolutions every year right , same here as well but seriously, I hope I can achieve it because as usual, I tend to be very lazy and procrastinate things and sometimes end up not completing the task or resolution i targeted for that year. So what are my 2011 new year resolutions? First of all, I really want to lose weight!!! Ever since I stopped exercising 2 years ago, I basically started putting on weight and now I think I have gained back all those fats I lost 2 years ago... Damm!! So the first thing I need to do now is LOSE WEIGHT!!!

Secondly, and the most important ever, Getting a job!!! That is something I have been doing ever since I came back from India. I have applied in many places but no reply untill today, and its kind of frustrating you see. Well, yeah, I can go and do something else part time until I get into something related to my passion permenantly but the thing is. Im just not intrested in anything else other that Film making or at least Broadcasting. I just cant work into other field of profession. I need to start now because in this entertainment industry, you need to work extremely hard to get a chance to go top, and that takes a long time. Unless if luck is in your side, you get a break immediately.. which only happens to one in a million. So I need to start now if I want to achieve my dreams.



Next, is to complete my script which was pending for a long time. I am currently working on a love story but Im trying my level best not to make a Bollywood type of love story, just a realistic one where everyone can relate to it. I have tried my level best to keep the dialogues as realistic as possible and I hope it will blend together with the narration of the story. One thing, its not easy to write a love story, furthermore if you want it to be different. I need to thank my friend who told me this story that inspired me to write a script out of it. Of course, I had to develop the story and all, but I believe that the climax of this story would make this love story different from the rest.. I hope.. then after completing that, I want to shift into a very crazy and gory kind of story.



I recently watched a Bollywood film called 'Rakth Charitra' which was directed by Ram Gopal Verma and Im so hooked into that film. Its basically a story of revenge, and portrayed in a gory manner but its awesome. I still haven't watched the second part but will definitely get that chance soon. After watching that film, it basically inspired me to do something like that, but knowing my style, I want to relate all those gory elements based on reality, like any incidents, exposure that provokes human beings to do such things. But before i do that, I need to do lots of research... so I hope I would be able to start on that script soon.



So for now, these are my New Year resolution, nothing impressive but its important for me, so I hope all of you guys will succeed in achieving your new year resolutions, till then, wish you guys A Prosperous New Year!!!! God Bless :-)