Now, the reason why Im writing this is because, I share with you guys, what was the real inspiration initially that made me choose Film making as my future. It was in the beginning of 2002, I was in form 2 and school just started, before that, I basically had a blast the previous year as I became a prefect and we were all like a family in the prefect board. I still remember, I was so freaking jovial, talk a lot and never fail to make people laugh. so when I was heading to school in 2002, I was expecting the same reception and atmosphere... but to my horror it was never the same anymore..
The friends that I used to have suddenly became very cold and started to ignore me, even at times I was ridiculed by them whenever I cracked jokes etc etc and this really affected me a lot and I seriously didn't know what to do or how to react to this. This new experience really brought in a lot of negativity in me and my low self esteem attitude was born. From a very jovial and talkative person, I became a man who is afraid to speak up to people. I became very quiet...even to an extend that I would be almost invincible to people even when Im around with them.
Things continued to be the same and I became more and more depressed.... During this time, my only remedy that made me feel better was movies, but I never realized it... I used to watch tons of movies and be so engrossed with the performance of the actors, the story and they way how the film was executed. Suddenly, this one indian movies released..and it change the way how I think and looked at movies forever. You see, I always say Im an avid Mani Ratnam, Kaamal hassan and Malayalam Actor Mohanlal fan, but these great artist never inspired me to want to pursue my career in the film making field... well, I know some people are going to kutuk me if I say the name of the film, the actor and the director who inspired me, but what the heck, Im just saying the truth.
The movie that inspired me was Kabhie Khushi Kabhie Gham. YESS!!! IT WAS A SHAH RUKH KHAN FILM!! A KARAN JOHAR DIRECTED FILM!!!! I KNOW!!!.. yeah... that was one film that made me think about film making... The critical reception the Film got when it was released, the amount of people who just wont stop talking about the performance of the actors, the way how the movie touched people Feelings, Emotions and how people viewed their parents after watching that film..IT WAS MIND BLOWING!!!!! When I watched the film, I was really amazed to see how the actors managed to make us; the audience to cry, how Karan Johar: the director to write a story and script that kept the audience glued to their seats from start till end without budging.... How a simple story; "ITS ALL ABOUT LOVING YOUR PARENTS" created massive waves around the world. The best part, how Shah Rukh Khan, Amitabh Bachan and Hritik Roshan's performance made fans go gaga about them...... WOW!!!!!
I started thinking... Maybe if I also become an actor, or a director.... I will be famous.... I will have people going crazy over me... people will surround me where ever I go... I wont feel alone anymore.... At that moment, I told myself.. you are going to be a Film Director and a FILM STAR!!!! After that, I started doing tons of research on film making and watched all sorts of movies.... Years went by, and my knowledge on Films were deeper and deeper...From the ambition of wanting to achive and lead a glamorous life, I realize that there is more that we can achieve..I realised that cinema is no more a medium of entertainment, cinema is a medium of EDUCATION!!!
That thought again changed my interest and my view towards film making once again... It became my passion.. I no longer wanted to make or act in films for the money or glamour, but what challenge can I take to be an artist? How can I guide my audience and leave an impact to them through my visualization or performance?.. what noble messages can I apply to them audience on life? These made me look at Cinema as a sacred industry.. I started watching less commercial film's and became an avid fan of some great prominent directors like Francis Ford Coppola, Mani Ratnam my Guru,Ram Gopal Verma, a Indian director I admire a lot, Michael Mann, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas for their science Fiction masterpieces, M. NIght Syamalan for being an excellent director with a difference.. Director Shankar for dreaming big and larger than life.... and not forgetting, the Iron Lady of MALAYSIAN CINEMA, The late Yasmin Ahmad for her Bold films and Dare to be different attitude of portraying the real Malaysia.. Marvelous!!!
Today, I wont say Im a Karan Johar fan because I realise he is just a normal director who makes movies suitable for everyone to watch.. nothing really creative except his emotional scenes and how he portrays these emotional scenes so well... but I will never forget him because it was his film that I got inspired... Definitely, if you ask me, I would not want to make a film like his because I feel its very commercialized, but then again because of that, he is considered a very successful director, but I would want to do different movies like how Kaamal Hassan, M.Night Shyamalan does as they are very different......
K3G...... The masterpiece of its own kind that made me convert to the religion of CINEMA...
Thank You Karan Johar.....
Now.... I am still praying and Hoping I will get an opportunity to pursue my dreams.. Until then, I will never give up HOPE.....
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