Tuesday, September 29, 2009

21 years of my life......

For the past 20 years of my life, I went through so many things....... meeting people which we call friends and many other trivial things yet very important in everyone's life...... And for me, i always complained to God... why was i born with a cleft, why am i not talented in this, that...... why cant i have a lot of friends... why didnt i get selected to be a head prefect in school, why do other people get better opportunity compared too me etc etc...... Nothing but complain...

At that time the only person who always consoles me was my dearest grandma..... i was extremely close with her.... but its human beings nature that when you get something good so easily, you tend not to appreciate it... and thats exactly what i did.... i took her for granted at one point of time.... and she and God gave me a very good punishment.... she left all of us in 2004 on my granddad's arms... just like that.... and all our lifes were crushed....... especially my mom and myself.... it was then i realised how important her presence was for me...... and once again i complained to God.....

After that i experienced a few other things such as relationships, sibling rivalry, relation rivalry, friends who back stabbed... this that..... too much of pain........ and to add salt on the wound... me and my family actually witnessed my granddad passing away right in front of our eyes... another point in my life where i hope no other grandchildren would experience.... its extremely painful..... and there i go again..... complain....... can you belive it... I was doing nothing but complain complain and COMPLAIN!!!!!

But this year... everything changed..... my perception of my own life changed..... because it was this year that i actually saw the real picture of how my life has turned out...... and i realised that God was so kind and patient with me all this while... He just accepted all forgave all my tantrums and scolding( well i treat Him as a friend so at times yeah i do scold Him :-P hehehehe) and blessed me with more happiness and priceless experience....... how?? Well the very first thing I always complained is that i dont have many friends.... but He patiently showed me that you dont need 100 friends to be with you but you just need to have ONE sincere Friend to be with you and your life will be beautiful.... and He blessed me with 3 Great friends, my dearest sandya, sathes and sathiyaan..... these people are always there for me when i need them.... their support is so crucial in my life..... their presence make me feel safe and comfortable..... they just have such a strong impact in my life.....Not forgetting another big brother of mine... Janash anne for always being by my side when i need a brotherly advise and love.... thank you so much.....

Then of course my family..... my dad, as i mentioned in my earlier post... the role he plays in my life.... just really glad to have a father like him..... but i think my mom is my pillar for everything..... she has basically taught me how to survive this cruel world... the things she has and is going through for the family is really painful, yet she still stands up and faces it so bravely.... those who knows my mom calls her the IRON Lady as she is known to be a very strong and tough women.... i used to get frustrated when my mom at times just jumps at me without seeing the real picture and all that but now, i realize that not only my mom, but all the moms in the world do that to their children because they love them so much and they just don't want anything to go wrong for their children because they cant see their children down, upset etc.... the love she pours to me is so much that i just cant imagine a life without her presence....
my sister on the other hand is another person whom will go all out for all of us including her friends.... to be honest... im not very close with her as we are just so busy with our daily routines and chores but when it comes to family or friends events, she will always be the first one to help out and make sure's the event becomes a memorable one.... and i believe if it wasnt my sister's planning , i dont think i would have had a unforgettable and a mind blowing birthday celebration this year.... all because of these people in my life....

So now... is there anything missing in my life???? Honestly nothing.. i have everything i need but as usual... we human beings always wants more, im no different..... you see... whenever i start a chapter in my life....usually, GOD always makes sure that the ending would be bad but for a good cause.. so that i could learn more about life and be a better person... im really glad that i went through all those painful times and all but this time i have started another chapter in my life.. and i belive that the ending would be a happy ending.... in my 20 years of life.... i got whatever that i wasn't so keen in getting without realizing how valuable it is until now, whatever i wanted and whoever i was with turned out to be a disaster for me... until to a point that i thought if i make a decision... it will be really bad.... but now... i have once again decided something and i am confident this decision i made would be a positive one for me and my life.... I leave it to my good friend.. MR.GOD to judge if my decision is right or wrong...... so far, nothing is turning out positive... but soon... you never know...... haha..

But besides that... what more can i ask from GOD you tell me.... He blessed me with so many wonderful people who are willing to give their life for me if needed.... the love that these people have shown me is so great that i am deb ted to them for life!! I can never repay them with anything because its that much of love, sincerity, honesty and respect and how proud they are to have me in their life seriously just brings tears in my eyes.... they have given me so much... more importanly... they accept me for who i am.... thats what that makes me love them so much.......... Now... there are more wonderful people that i have meet and they too have shown me lots of love and caring.... GOD is really kind to me.....

THANK YOU GUYS........ I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH...

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