21 years of my life......

For the past 20 years of my life, I went through so many things....... meeting people which we call friends and many other trivial things yet very important in everyone's life...... And for me, i always complained to God... why was i born with a cleft, why am i not talented in this, that...... why cant i have a lot of friends... why didnt i get selected to be a head prefect in school, why do other people get better opportunity compared too me etc etc...... Nothing but complain...

At that time the only person who always consoles me was my dearest grandma..... i was extremely close with her.... but its human beings nature that when you get something good so easily, you tend not to appreciate it... and thats exactly what i did.... i took her for granted at one point of time.... and she and God gave me a very good punishment.... she left all of us in 2004 on my granddad's arms... just like that.... and all our lifes were crushed....... especially my mom and myself.... it was then i realised how important her presence was for me...... and once again i complained to God.....

After that i experienced a few other things such as relationships, sibling rivalry, relation rivalry, friends who back stabbed... this that..... too much of pain........ and to add salt on the wound... me and my family actually witnessed my granddad passing away right in front of our eyes... another point in my life where i hope no other grandchildren would experience.... its extremely painful..... and there i go again..... complain....... can you belive it... I was doing nothing but complain complain and COMPLAIN!!!!!

But this year... everything changed..... my perception of my own life changed..... because it was this year that i actually saw the real picture of how my life has turned out...... and i realised that God was so kind and patient with me all this while... He just accepted all forgave all my tantrums and scolding( well i treat Him as a friend so at times yeah i do scold Him :-P hehehehe) and blessed me with more happiness and priceless experience....... how?? Well the very first thing I always complained is that i dont have many friends.... but He patiently showed me that you dont need 100 friends to be with you but you just need to have ONE sincere Friend to be with you and your life will be beautiful.... and He blessed me with 3 Great friends, my dearest sandya, sathes and sathiyaan..... these people are always there for me when i need them.... their support is so crucial in my life..... their presence make me feel safe and comfortable..... they just have such a strong impact in my life.....Not forgetting another big brother of mine... Janash anne for always being by my side when i need a brotherly advise and love.... thank you so much.....

Then of course my family..... my dad, as i mentioned in my earlier post... the role he plays in my life.... just really glad to have a father like him..... but i think my mom is my pillar for everything..... she has basically taught me how to survive this cruel world... the things she has and is going through for the family is really painful, yet she still stands up and faces it so bravely.... those who knows my mom calls her the IRON Lady as she is known to be a very strong and tough women.... i used to get frustrated when my mom at times just jumps at me without seeing the real picture and all that but now, i realize that not only my mom, but all the moms in the world do that to their children because they love them so much and they just don't want anything to go wrong for their children because they cant see their children down, upset etc.... the love she pours to me is so much that i just cant imagine a life without her presence....
my sister on the other hand is another person whom will go all out for all of us including her friends.... to be honest... im not very close with her as we are just so busy with our daily routines and chores but when it comes to family or friends events, she will always be the first one to help out and make sure's the event becomes a memorable one.... and i believe if it wasnt my sister's planning , i dont think i would have had a unforgettable and a mind blowing birthday celebration this year.... all because of these people in my life....

So now... is there anything missing in my life???? Honestly nothing.. i have everything i need but as usual... we human beings always wants more, im no different..... you see... whenever i start a chapter in my life....usually, GOD always makes sure that the ending would be bad but for a good cause.. so that i could learn more about life and be a better person... im really glad that i went through all those painful times and all but this time i have started another chapter in my life.. and i belive that the ending would be a happy ending.... in my 20 years of life.... i got whatever that i wasn't so keen in getting without realizing how valuable it is until now, whatever i wanted and whoever i was with turned out to be a disaster for me... until to a point that i thought if i make a decision... it will be really bad.... but now... i have once again decided something and i am confident this decision i made would be a positive one for me and my life.... I leave it to my good friend.. MR.GOD to judge if my decision is right or wrong...... so far, nothing is turning out positive... but soon... you never know...... haha..

But besides that... what more can i ask from GOD you tell me.... He blessed me with so many wonderful people who are willing to give their life for me if needed.... the love that these people have shown me is so great that i am deb ted to them for life!! I can never repay them with anything because its that much of love, sincerity, honesty and respect and how proud they are to have me in their life seriously just brings tears in my eyes.... they have given me so much... more importanly... they accept me for who i am.... thats what that makes me love them so much.......... Now... there are more wonderful people that i have meet and they too have shown me lots of love and caring.... GOD is really kind to me.....

THANK YOU GUYS........ I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH...

One Common Problem..... LOVE

Have you ever thought whether is love really a problem???? Well, if you've ever been in love, there has to have been times when you've scratched your head in frustraion and asked yourself" Why the HELL am I in LOVE!!!".Many couples are basically experiencing just that, the complications and complexities that come hand in hand with love.
But science teaches you that every action must have an equal and opposite reaction and every PROBLEM must have a SOLUTION.... And the solution is basically the answer in the words of four young gentlemen.

"All you need is LOVE......LOVE is all you need"- The Beatles

This Past Weeks......A Life Changing Experience

This past weeks have been exciting at the same time very upsetting as well.... the exciting is that after a long time, i finally had a chance to shoot a short film. A short film that a friend of mine wanted to do, and she is not even exposed to any sort of knowledge on this field of broadcasting, film etc. Thats why i really admire and respect her... this is a fine example of a very passionate person wanting to do what they are passionate about.... had lots of fun during the shoot... since i am the only one who has a certain amount of knowledge in filming, i was held responsible of the post production stage of this short film... she really has high hopes on me and i hope i wont disappoint her....

And the disappointing thing these past few week have been how i have been behaving and getting to know some very heart aching things...... you see... my mind actually has been thinking a lot on so many thing... there is something bothering me a lot... but i don't know what is it.... I try my best to find the source of whats bothering me but i cant seem to find it.... hmmmm... and yeah... really miss my friends..... have not seen them for almost a week!!!! You he any idea how long is that???? hahaha... what to do... just love them so much... thats why a week is like a year for me...... another thing is my weight... ya, i have lost some fats... but it's still not good enough... I want to see myself having a body like... no one actually... just want to be in a healthy condition you see......hehehehehe

Well, there is another thing that i am dissapointed as well... but i cant say it out... or shall i just say that i am not in the situation to say it... basically regarding my passion... you see at times... its really sad when you are passionate about something... though there are many positive things you can say about passion, but there are also many negative things about being passionate as well isnt it? But whatever it is... i thank God for making me go through all those things I never expected to go through just because of my passion... it taught and gave me something valuable... experience......

Now... I believe... its not easy or lets just say you will never appreciate what you can get or do easily... only by working hard and suffer a bit to get what you want will make you appreciate it... so please... never take things, people and relationships for granted..... you will only realise how valuable that thing, people and relationship once its no more... once it just slips out of your hands as easily as how you got it... mark my words... it happens...... I dont know wherether Im the right person to say this, but enjoy life to the fullest... its just like a roller coaster ride... the things that you go through in life is pricleess... cherish every moment of it....

Live Your Life The Way You Want!!!!!

I dont know why all this why I have always tried to impress people by being a total different person and making myself to be an idiot actually. I mean what the HELL was I thinking??? Why first of all I have to impress people??? They should accept me for who I am and not me being someone who is so not me..... Im just being honest to myself and the people I meet about who I really am but I think if they dont like it, then its too bad... I always have friends who know and accepts me for my real self. As long as they are with me, Im fine.... Ya at times I can be a bit boring and childish, but at least Im not being a stranger to myself..... I always allowed people to put me down.. but now, NOT A CHANCE DUDE!!!!! I am not going to allow that anymore and I am going to live my life the way I want... You don't like it, please get lost, thank you!!!!

There are many people right now who doesn't portray their true self just like how I use to be... But seriously, dont lie and cheat yourself... you are just going to regret it sooner or later... be happy with what you are and who you are... nobody is perfect... if there is someone who is perfect, that would be GOD Himself... Tell yourself that you are unique and special, you have a talent that others dont have, a powerfull passion... stop being a follower, be a leader... you have the credibility to be a great leader... stop letting people decide who you are!!!!! You have the very same brains that those human beings has so start USING IT!!!!! Even if the girl or guy you love are totally different with your personality, status and all, dont give a damm about it!!! Believe in yourself , love yourself first, others will automatically Love you!!!

Remember, Life is full of challenges, instead of sitting down and complaining about, STAND UP and FACE IT BRAVELY!!!! Trust me, it will take you somewhere you will never expect in your wildest dream!!!!... Thats what I have started doing.... and it will do me good..... Have Faith.....