The real inspiration....

I have always expressed my passion for films to many people untill to the extend that , they just kind of like ignore me whenever I start to speak because they think Im going to start talking about films, and films only...hehehe, I can understand the agony they go through but at times I do get a little upset when people pretend that they are listening...anyway, i basically have shut myself a bit in terms of speaking out about films...

Now, the reason why Im writing this is because, I share with you guys, what was the real inspiration initially that made me choose Film making as my future. It was in the beginning of 2002, I was in form 2 and school just started, before that, I basically had a blast the previous year as I became a prefect and we were all like a family in the prefect board. I still remember, I was so freaking jovial, talk a lot and never fail to make people laugh. so when I was heading to school in 2002, I was expecting the same reception and atmosphere... but to my horror it was never the same anymore..

The friends that I used to have suddenly became very cold and started to ignore me, even at times I was ridiculed by them whenever I cracked jokes etc etc and this really affected me a lot and I seriously didn't know what to do or how to react to this. This new experience really brought in a lot of negativity in me and my low self esteem attitude was born. From a very jovial and talkative person, I became a man who is afraid to speak up to people. I became very quiet...even to an extend that I would be almost invincible to people even when Im around with them.

Things continued to be the same and I became more and more depressed.... During this time, my only remedy that made me feel better was movies, but I never realized it... I used to watch tons of movies and be so engrossed with the performance of the actors, the story and they way how the film was executed. Suddenly, this one indian movies released..and it change the way how I think and looked at movies forever. You see, I always say Im an avid Mani Ratnam, Kaamal hassan and Malayalam Actor Mohanlal fan, but these great artist never inspired me to want to pursue my career in the film making field... well, I know some people are going to kutuk me if I say the name of the film, the actor and the director who inspired me, but what the heck, Im just saying the truth.

The movie that inspired me was Kabhie Khushi Kabhie Gham. YESS!!! IT WAS A SHAH RUKH KHAN FILM!! A KARAN JOHAR DIRECTED FILM!!!! I KNOW!!!.. yeah... that was one film that made me think about film making... The critical reception the Film got when it was released, the amount of people who just wont stop talking about the performance of the actors, the way how the movie touched people Feelings, Emotions and how people viewed their parents after watching that film..IT WAS MIND BLOWING!!!!! When I watched the film, I was really amazed to see how the actors managed to make us; the audience to cry, how Karan Johar: the director to write a story and script that kept the audience glued to their seats from start till end without budging.... How a simple story; "ITS ALL ABOUT LOVING YOUR PARENTS" created massive waves around the world. The best part, how Shah Rukh Khan, Amitabh Bachan and Hritik Roshan's performance made fans go gaga about them...... WOW!!!!!

I started thinking... Maybe if I also become an actor, or a director.... I will be famous.... I will have people going crazy over me... people will surround me where ever I go... I wont feel alone anymore.... At that moment, I told myself.. you are going to be a Film Director and a FILM STAR!!!! After that, I started doing tons of research on film making and watched all sorts of movies.... Years went by, and my knowledge on Films were deeper and deeper...From the ambition of wanting to achive and lead a glamorous life, I realize that there is more that we can achieve..I realised that cinema is no more a medium of entertainment, cinema is a medium of EDUCATION!!!

That thought again changed my interest and my view towards film making once again... It became my passion.. I no longer wanted to make or act in films for the money or glamour, but what challenge can I take to be an artist? How can I guide my audience and leave an impact to them through my visualization or performance?.. what noble messages can I apply to them audience on life? These made me look at Cinema as a sacred industry.. I started watching less commercial film's and became an avid fan of some great prominent directors like Francis Ford Coppola, Mani Ratnam my Guru,Ram Gopal Verma, a Indian director I admire a lot, Michael Mann, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas for their science Fiction masterpieces, M. NIght Syamalan for being an excellent director with a difference.. Director Shankar for dreaming big and larger than life.... and not forgetting, the Iron Lady of MALAYSIAN CINEMA, The late Yasmin Ahmad for her Bold films and Dare to be different attitude of portraying the real Malaysia.. Marvelous!!!

Today, I wont say Im a Karan Johar fan because I realise he is just a normal director who makes movies suitable for everyone to watch.. nothing really creative except his emotional scenes and how he portrays these emotional scenes so well... but I will never forget him because it was his film that I got inspired... Definitely, if you ask me, I would not want to make a film like his because I feel its very commercialized, but then again because of that, he is considered a very successful director, but I would want to do different movies like how Kaamal Hassan, M.Night Shyamalan does as they are very different......

K3G...... The masterpiece of its own kind that made me convert to the religion of CINEMA...

Thank You Karan Johar.....

Now.... I am still praying and Hoping I will get an opportunity to pursue my dreams.. Until then, I will never give up HOPE.....

Life... So Far

I know... its been ages.... seriously, didnt have the mood to post anything at all....hehehehe.. but today, out of the blues... i suddenly felt like writing..... so here I am :-)...

Well, life so far hasn't been really bad, was attached to a media company where I worked as an production assistant. I co-ordinated some programs produced by the company for ASTRO. it was quite a challenge really but all was well..... during my stint over there, i managed to befriend with some great people from the media industry and we all clicked quite well, miss those times actually.... anyway, after three months over there, i decided to quit due to some unavoidable circumstances and was jobless for almost 2 months.... but i was lucky as i got an opportunity to try my luck in Radio Televisyen Malaysia. I was called for an interview and a month later, I was accepted.... so now, im back in the working life.... I have joined as a news editor where i write news scripts for english news you see on TV2. Its a good job and Im payed quite well.

Despite this work not being related to my main passion, which is film making, Im happy that I got a break in RTM. because I believe there is always a stepping stone for everything you do, so for me RTM is my stepping stone, maybe not now, but one day I will surely get my chance somehow through this media station. At the moment, Im really putting in effort to learn a lot of things from the News room as it will be an advantage for me. I even met and befriended many prominent people in the media industry like Mr. Pandi Doorai, a famous tamil news reader, and my very own boss, Mr. Harjit Singh Hullon who is a legendary news presenter himself. I really thank God that I have been given a chance to work along side these great people... not only that, I have some really good working colleges who is always there to help me when Im not sure about something.

So far, everything looks promising, as long as I do whatever I need to do well, Im safe.. but the one thing that I am a bit upset is that.... when we gain something, we tend to lose something in return... nature of life... what to do... things that is meant to happen will happen.. we just cant prevent it no matter what we do.... Another thing I realized these past few months is that, at times, people only talk cock!!!! seriously, they will tell us so many things about themselves, who they know, what they can do etc etc.. they will even assure us that they will help us when we are in need and all, but when we really go and stand in front of them seeking help... you will hear another hundred reasons why they are not in a situation to help out at the moment!!! Just like the saying.. EMPTY VESSEL MAKES THE MOST NOISE!!!! hehehehe

Anyway, I guess I am quite settled down for now with these wonderful job... just making use of my working time learning things... and I have to say, Im really proud to be an RTM staff.... My perception of these media station totally changed when I entered.. there is just so many cool things you can see and learn in RTM.. Thank GOd for that... so thats all folks..take care and hope to write soon and not twenty years later :-P..hehehehehe

2011

Goodbye 2010, hello 2011.. Happy New Year to all and have a wonderful new year ahead. I just hope this is not going to be the last New Year for us as 2012 is just NEXT YEAR!!!!



Any way, well I guess most of us have new resolutions every year right , same here as well but seriously, I hope I can achieve it because as usual, I tend to be very lazy and procrastinate things and sometimes end up not completing the task or resolution i targeted for that year. So what are my 2011 new year resolutions? First of all, I really want to lose weight!!! Ever since I stopped exercising 2 years ago, I basically started putting on weight and now I think I have gained back all those fats I lost 2 years ago... Damm!! So the first thing I need to do now is LOSE WEIGHT!!!

Secondly, and the most important ever, Getting a job!!! That is something I have been doing ever since I came back from India. I have applied in many places but no reply untill today, and its kind of frustrating you see. Well, yeah, I can go and do something else part time until I get into something related to my passion permenantly but the thing is. Im just not intrested in anything else other that Film making or at least Broadcasting. I just cant work into other field of profession. I need to start now because in this entertainment industry, you need to work extremely hard to get a chance to go top, and that takes a long time. Unless if luck is in your side, you get a break immediately.. which only happens to one in a million. So I need to start now if I want to achieve my dreams.



Next, is to complete my script which was pending for a long time. I am currently working on a love story but Im trying my level best not to make a Bollywood type of love story, just a realistic one where everyone can relate to it. I have tried my level best to keep the dialogues as realistic as possible and I hope it will blend together with the narration of the story. One thing, its not easy to write a love story, furthermore if you want it to be different. I need to thank my friend who told me this story that inspired me to write a script out of it. Of course, I had to develop the story and all, but I believe that the climax of this story would make this love story different from the rest.. I hope.. then after completing that, I want to shift into a very crazy and gory kind of story.



I recently watched a Bollywood film called 'Rakth Charitra' which was directed by Ram Gopal Verma and Im so hooked into that film. Its basically a story of revenge, and portrayed in a gory manner but its awesome. I still haven't watched the second part but will definitely get that chance soon. After watching that film, it basically inspired me to do something like that, but knowing my style, I want to relate all those gory elements based on reality, like any incidents, exposure that provokes human beings to do such things. But before i do that, I need to do lots of research... so I hope I would be able to start on that script soon.



So for now, these are my New Year resolution, nothing impressive but its important for me, so I hope all of you guys will succeed in achieving your new year resolutions, till then, wish you guys A Prosperous New Year!!!! God Bless :-)

The Experience & The need to Believe

Yes, it has been a long time since I wrote... honestly, i was just so amused by other things whenever I come online that I tend to procrastinate writing my something on my blog. Like I said, for me, this blog is meant to let out my emotions... nothing else.. so whenever I feel like doing it, I will write... Anyway, well I told you guys in my earlier post that Im going to India and work in the industry there, guess what, I did and it was awesome.

When I Left Malaysia on the 1st October at 8.30 am, my heart was filled with excitement, the thought that Im working in a Indian English Bollywood project was thrilling. When I reached Goa and meet the entire crew of the film, I was so happy and was looking forward for the shoot. We started shooting on the 3rd of October, and that was the same day when reality checked in. Shooting a film is so not easy man, It was really though, especially the camera and lighting department . Well actually it was a lot of work for every department in a film production but I felt that the Camera department had a lot of work to do, setting up the light, getting the right lighting, etc etc. I was running like a mad dog here and there helping out my cousin brother who was the cameraman of this film.. when I think of all those times, I just cant believe that I managed to pull through man..hehe... but in the end, it was a magnificent experience and I dont at all regret my decision coming to India and joining this production. Oh yeah, I was also in charge to shoot the making of this film I hope I did a good job.



Now to talk about the film, this film is titled 'Love Wrinkle Free' and it stars Ash Chandler and Shernaz Patel( she played Rani Mukherjee's mother in BLACK) in important roles. The story is a simple story which of course I cant reveal but its a light hearted story which I belive everyone will enjoy. This movie is directed by a debutant named Sandeep Mohan who assisted Sanjay Leela Bhansali in Hum DIl DE Chuke Sanam , produced by Giju John of Tiranga Productions and cinematographed by Binendra Menon, trust me, in a few years time Binendra chetha is going to go big cause he is that good in his cinematography!!! Since its a small budget film, Im not sure if will there be any distributors who will distribute the film in Malaysia but Im praying that this movie will be released here. We shot the film for a month in Goa and in Mumbai but I didnt join them in Mumbai as I left to Kerala by then.


Now after completing this shoot, I went to Bangalore to stay with my aunt for a few days and then a relation of mine sent me to Kerala by bus. I can still remember thinking in the bus, when I reach Kerala, I may have the chance to join another big name director and hence start off my career in India. Was really excited.... When I reached there...... I dont want to eloberate more.. lets just say that I just dreamed too much I guess...... But besides that, I managed to meet all my relations and in no time, I became so close to them. I never meet them in my life but they all were treating me with so much of love... something I have not experienced here for a long time... Didn't realize how much I missed it and how nice it is to be surrounded by family members.....

I now back in Malaysia........ there is one part of me feels that my dream has been destroyed and Im never going to achive my dream anymore, the other part tells me that there is still hope and dont give up.... but then again, I realised that back there in India, none of the filmmakers has the desire to leave their country and try their luck in Hollywood but they always say that they want to be part of the revolution of Indian Cinema. Which indirectly shows that they love their country and the Indian cinema industry that they just dont want to leave it. Its not because they are not as talented as other International Film makers, trust me, they are equally good as them if they are given the freedom and opportunity. Here, I so want to leave my country and try my luck in another country.... I know its not wrong because I can go learn things there and come back and do something here..but I dont know...

I still have the feeling like here in Malaysia, the hope for our films to achived International recognition has been buried together with P.Ramlee and Yasmin Ahmad.. I feel so low when people over there in India asks me whether does Malaysia make films etc!!! I just feel like making a Malaysian film which has all the ingredients to go International!!! It is not possible but... I dont know where to start.. Believe me guys, we have all the facilities to make and produce good Intenational standard films.. do you know that Yasmin Ahmad's Petronas Ad's are hugely loved in India!!! When I speak of the ad, lots of people will just be praising those ads like nobodies business!!! So proud when they say good things about our country's ads etc...... Now......

Can anyone achieve what Yasmin Ahmad could at the International level? Can we see a revolution in Malaysian Cinema soon? Can we make our own version of the Lord of The Rings trilogy with realistic looking CGI's and Animation and an original script? Will one of our Local films win The Best Foreign Film category at the Oscars? The answer to all this questions is... YESS!!!!! But it takes not one, but the entire people in the industry to be different.. Thats the keyword, DIFFERENT!!

We got to start thinking big guys!! It is possible!!! Nothing is impossible in this world!!! Do you know that we Malaysians are far more expose in so many current things that is happening in the world compared to India!!!! But look where they are and where we are in terms of Filmmaking!!! Im really going nuts here.... I want to take the challenge and revive what the late Yasmin Ahmad and the Legendary P.Ramlee wanted to do, to bring Malaysian movies to the next Level!!! But I cant to this alone.. I need support, come on guys, there is still hope.... instead of pointing fingers and blaming lots of things, lets just take the first step and prove to the other Malaysians that Change is possible and we can reach where Hollywood has!!! Im not exaggerating, I know it is possible!!! But I need your help, your Believe...

Will there be somebody out there who is willing to be with me to change and revolutionize Malaysian Film Industry?

The Experience,The Unbelivable & The Dilema of making a Decision

Its been almost two weeks since I and sis came back from India, earlier, I told you about Bangalore and the thrilling experience of the auto ride etc. Well, I olso went to Chennai actually and Chennai was exactly just like how i imagined. We stayed at the old city of Chennai near Anna Nagar and the traffic, the atmosphere all were really hetic. Too many vehicles, cows and people on the road, just as i said earlier, if you can drive in India, you can drive anywhere in the world :-).... I couldn't get the opportunity to see the famous Railway station of Chennai as it was located at the new Chennai city... but its okay, I will be going back soon so I will check all that out......

Overall, the journey was good, I manage to visit Rajiv Ghandhi's memorial before leaving back to Bangalore... i dont know why, but i felt very sad when i stood in front of the memorial...the atmosphere was filled with sadness... Anyway as we experienced another 7 hour drive back to bangalore... i was just thinking....

It was a dream come true for me to visit India...that happened...it was my dream to board a plane and travel abroad...that olso happened..now, i have another dream that may happen as well... being a part of the Indian Film Industry... When i was there, i met an uncle who was an ex award winning documentary Filmmaker, Mr. Ravi and guess what... he knows India's top cinematographer, Mr. Santosh Sivan's family.. and he told me that if Im going to Kerala, please let him know, he will try to arrange a meeting with him, and you may never know, Santosh might take me as his assistant as he is known to be a very humble person and likes to help people who are intrested in this field of cinema..that's what he said... Tears filled my eyes... seriously.. i didnt expect all this to happened you know... and adding to that, i have a distant relation who is an assistant to another India's top cinematographer, Ravi. K. Chandran.. I spoke to him and he told me that if I can come around October, I may get the chance to be part of his team as he has a project coming up....

Now, back in Malaysia, I spoke to dad and he told me that he is happy with any decision I make.... I still havent decide anything yet.. but I know, opportunity is knocking on my door and I have to make a decision whether to open the door and welcome it inside or not....( Sorry couldnt upload any pictures yet, will do that soon okay)

Bangalore so far......

I had a few imagination on how India or Bangalore to be specific would be, the lifestyle, the people, the streets etc.etc. When I landed, i was really excited, my uncle's place from the airport is about 1 hour plus drive and my, it was the most thrilling ride I ever had. The way the drivers were driving their cars, auto's, trucks were all.. how should I say, dangerous maybe :-P and the traffic congestion is SERIOUSLY bad...small road but tons of vehicle's..hehehe.. but they were extremely skillful..no doubt!!!..

Bangalore is extremely cooling despite of the heavy pollution and construction..the air is so fresh and cooling..Yesterday, I went to the town by auto and it was an experience!!! I really admire these drivers and the way they drive...man...hehehe... but whatever it is, It's so COOOL...

Im having lots of fun and just dont feel like going back to Malaysia.ost probably, I will be pursuing my studies here in India... India has its ups and downs, just like in Malaysia, but its a lovely place with lovely people.... India MERE JHAN, Me TUMSE BOHOT PYAR KARTI HAI!!! Hehehehe.... by the way, even though Bangalore is a state in KARNATAKA, here they mostly speak Hindi..... Looking forward for more wonderful things over here..till then, Namashkar
:-P..hehehehehe

Excitement Blues.....

Im actually suppose to be asleep at this very moment as its already alomost 3 in the morning, what the hell am I doing up so late?? Actually, being awake at 3 am is nothing new :-P... but tonight it is bothering me, I just want the day to come faster so that I can head to the LCCT and board the plan to INDIA... hahahaha...yess, im leaving to India on the 17th of this month with my sis.....

The reason is because my sister want to do her degree in occupational therapist and India has the facilities for that course while for me, Im basically going to check out my chances of entering the film industries or television stations over there cause seriously, i dont see any bright future for me and the field im in at this very moment, so Im going to check out on that as well, if that doesnt work out, then I will most probably do my second degree in cinematography at the Pune Film Institute...One of the leading Film institutes in India and the world. These past few days, I have been having a craze for cinematography, so if everything goes well, then i may do that too. Another thing is that if I can get to do the degree, then my chances of entering the industry is a bit more better..we will see how it goes.....

Its going to be a different atmosphere, people, lifestyle etc.etc. But Im really looking forward to it, I told myself that by this year, I will leave the country, and now its happening, I hope very soon, in this very blog, I can say that Im part of the film feternity and I'm currently under my idol Mani Ratnam :-)... Nothing is impossible.... If you believe in it...