Gopindira...Memories to cherish

The real inspiration....

2011-08-13T23:42:00.000-07:00

I have always expressed my passion for films to many people untill to the extend that , they just kind of like ignore me whenever I start to speak because they think Im going to start talking about films, and films only...hehehe, I can understand the agony they go through but at times I do get a little upset when people pretend that they are listening...anyway, i basically have shut myself a bit in terms of speaking out about films...

Now, the reason why Im writing this is because, I share with you guys, what was the real inspiration initially that made me choose Film making as my future. It was in the beginning of 2002, I was in form 2 and school just started, before that, I basically had a blast the previous year as I became a prefect and we were all like a family in the prefect board. I still remember, I was so freaking jovial, talk a lot and never fail to make people laugh. so when I was heading to school in 2002, I was expecting the same reception and atmosphere... but to my horror it was never the same anymore..

The friends that I used to have suddenly became very cold and started to ignore me, even at times I was ridiculed by them whenever I cracked jokes etc etc and this really affected me a lot and I seriously didn't know what to do or how to react to this. This new experience really brought in a lot of negativity in me and my low self esteem attitude was born. From a very jovial and talkative person, I became a man who is afraid to speak up to people. I became very quiet...even to an extend that I would be almost invincible to people even when Im around with them.

Things continued to be the same and I became more and more depressed.... During this time, my only remedy that made me feel better was movies, but I never realized it... I used to watch tons of movies and be so engrossed with the performance of the actors, the story and they way how the film was executed. Suddenly, this one indian movies released..and it change the way how I think and looked at movies forever. You see, I always say Im an avid Mani Ratnam, Kaamal hassan and Malayalam Actor Mohanlal fan, but these great artist never inspired me to want to pursue my career in the film making field... well, I know some people are going to kutuk me if I say the name of the film, the actor and the director who inspired me, but what the heck, Im just saying the truth.

The movie that inspired me was Kabhie Khushi Kabhie Gham. YESS!!! IT WAS A SHAH RUKH KHAN FILM!! A KARAN JOHAR DIRECTED FILM!!!! I KNOW!!!.. yeah... that was one film that made me think about film making... The critical reception the Film got when it was released, the amount of people who just wont stop talking about the performance of the actors, the way how the movie touched people Feelings, Emotions and how people viewed their parents after watching that film..IT WAS MIND BLOWING!!!!! When I watched the film, I was really amazed to see how the actors managed to make us; the audience to cry, how Karan Johar: the director to write a story and script that kept the audience glued to their seats from start till end without budging.... How a simple story; "ITS ALL ABOUT LOVING YOUR PARENTS" created massive waves around the world. The best part, how Shah Rukh Khan, Amitabh Bachan and Hritik Roshan's performance made fans go gaga about them...... WOW!!!!!

I started thinking... Maybe if I also become an actor, or a director.... I will be famous.... I will have people going crazy over me... people will surround me where ever I go... I wont feel alone anymore.... At that moment, I told myself.. you are going to be a Film Director and a FILM STAR!!!! After that, I started doing tons of research on film making and watched all sorts of movies.... Years went by, and my knowledge on Films were deeper and deeper...From the ambition of wanting to achive and lead a glamorous life, I realize that there is more that we can achieve..I realised that cinema is no more a medium of entertainment, cinema is a medium of EDUCATION!!!

That thought again changed my interest and my view towards film making once again... It became my passion.. I no longer wanted to make or act in films for the money or glamour, but what challenge can I take to be an artist? How can I guide my audience and leave an impact to them through my visualization or performance?.. what noble messages can I apply to them audience on life? These made me look at Cinema as a sacred industry.. I started watching less commercial film's and became an avid fan of some great prominent directors like Francis Ford Coppola, Mani Ratnam my Guru,Ram Gopal Verma, a Indian director I admire a lot, Michael Mann, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas for their science Fiction masterpieces, M. NIght Syamalan for being an excellent director with a difference.. Director Shankar for dreaming big and larger than life.... and not forgetting, the Iron Lady of MALAYSIAN CINEMA, The late Yasmin Ahmad for her Bold films and Dare to be different attitude of portraying the real Malaysia.. Marvelous!!!

Today, I wont say Im a Karan Johar fan because I realise he is just a normal director who makes movies suitable for everyone to watch.. nothing really creative except his emotional scenes and how he portrays these emotional scenes so well... but I will never forget him because it was his film that I got inspired... Definitely, if you ask me, I would not want to make a film like his because I feel its very commercialized, but then again because of that, he is considered a very successful director, but I would want to do different movies like how Kaamal Hassan, M.Night Shyamalan does as they are very different......

K3G...... The masterpiece of its own kind that made me convert to the religion of CINEMA...

Thank You Karan Johar.....

Now.... I am still praying and Hoping I will get an opportunity to pursue my dreams.. Until then, I will never give up HOPE.....

Life... So Far

2011-07-18T08:39:00.000-07:00

I know... its been ages.... seriously, didnt have the mood to post anything at all....hehehehe.. but today, out of the blues... i suddenly felt like writing..... so here I am :-)...

Well, life so far hasn't been really bad, was attached to a media company where I worked as an production assistant. I co-ordinated some programs produced by the company for ASTRO. it was quite a challenge really but all was well..... during my stint over there, i managed to befriend with some great people from the media industry and we all clicked quite well, miss those times actually.... anyway, after three months over there, i decided to quit due to some unavoidable circumstances and was jobless for almost 2 months.... but i was lucky as i got an opportunity to try my luck in Radio Televisyen Malaysia. I was called for an interview and a month later, I was accepted.... so now, im back in the working life.... I have joined as a news editor where i write news scripts for english news you see on TV2. Its a good job and Im payed quite well.

Despite this work not being related to my main passion, which is film making, Im happy that I got a break in RTM. because I believe there is always a stepping stone for everything you do, so for me RTM is my stepping stone, maybe not now, but one day I will surely get my chance somehow through this media station. At the moment, Im really putting in effort to learn a lot of things from the News room as it will be an advantage for me. I even met and befriended many prominent people in the media industry like Mr. Pandi Doorai, a famous tamil news reader, and my very own boss, Mr. Harjit Singh Hullon who is a legendary news presenter himself. I really thank God that I have been given a chance to work along side these great people... not only that, I have some really good working colleges who is always there to help me when Im not sure about something.

So far, everything looks promising, as long as I do whatever I need to do well, Im safe.. but the one thing that I am a bit upset is that.... when we gain something, we tend to lose something in return... nature of life... what to do... things that is meant to happen will happen.. we just cant prevent it no matter what we do.... Another thing I realized these past few months is that, at times, people only talk cock!!!! seriously, they will tell us so many things about themselves, who they know, what they can do etc etc.. they will even assure us that they will help us when we are in need and all, but when we really go and stand in front of them seeking help... you will hear another hundred reasons why they are not in a situation to help out at the moment!!! Just like the saying.. EMPTY VESSEL MAKES THE MOST NOISE!!!! hehehehe

Anyway, I guess I am quite settled down for now with these wonderful job... just making use of my working time learning things... and I have to say, Im really proud to be an RTM staff.... My perception of these media station totally changed when I entered.. there is just so many cool things you can see and learn in RTM.. Thank GOd for that... so thats all folks..take care and hope to write soon and not twenty years later :-P..hehehehehe

2011

2011-01-03T23:39:00.000-08:00

Goodbye 2010, hello 2011.. Happy New Year to all and have a wonderful new year ahead. I just hope this is not going to be the last New Year for us as 2012 is just NEXT YEAR!!!!

Any way, well I guess most of us have new resolutions every year right , same here as well but seriously, I hope I can achieve it because as usual, I tend to be very lazy and procrastinate things and sometimes end up not completing the task or resolution i targeted for that year. So what are my 2011 new year resolutions? First of all, I really want to lose weight!!! Ever since I stopped exercising 2 years ago, I basically started putting on weight and now I think I have gained back all those fats I lost 2 years ago... Damm!! So the first thing I need to do now is LOSE WEIGHT!!!

Secondly, and the most important ever, Getting a job!!! That is something I have been doing ever since I came back from India. I have applied in many places but no reply untill today, and its kind of frustrating you see. Well, yeah, I can go and do something else part time until I get into something related to my passion permenantly but the thing is. Im just not intrested in anything else other that Film making or at least Broadcasting. I just cant work into other field of profession. I need to start now because in this entertainment industry, you need to work extremely hard to get a chance to go top, and that takes a long time. Unless if luck is in your side, you get a break immediately.. which only happens to one in a million. So I need to start now if I want to achieve my dreams.

Next, is to complete my script which was pending for a long time. I am currently working on a love story but Im trying my level best not to make a Bollywood type of love story, just a realistic one where everyone can relate to it. I have tried my level best to keep the dialogues as realistic as possible and I hope it will blend together with the narration of the story. One thing, its not easy to write a love story, furthermore if you want it to be different. I need to thank my friend who told me this story that inspired me to write a script out of it. Of course, I had to develop the story and all, but I believe that the climax of this story would make this love story different from the rest.. I hope.. then after completing that, I want to shift into a very crazy and gory kind of story.

I recently watched a Bollywood film called 'Rakth Charitra' which was directed by Ram Gopal Verma and Im so hooked into that film. Its basically a story of revenge, and portrayed in a gory manner but its awesome. I still haven't watched the second part but will definitely get that chance soon. After watching that film, it basically inspired me to do something like that, but knowing my style, I want to relate all those gory elements based on reality, like any incidents, exposure that provokes human beings to do such things. But before i do that, I need to do lots of research... so I hope I would be able to start on that script soon.

So for now, these are my New Year resolution, nothing impressive but its important for me, so I hope all of you guys will succeed in achieving your new year resolutions, till then, wish you guys A Prosperous New Year!!!! God Bless :-)

The Experience & The need to Believe

2010-12-09T10:47:00.000-08:00

Yes, it has been a long time since I wrote... honestly, i was just so amused by other things whenever I come online that I tend to procrastinate writing my something on my blog. Like I said, for me, this blog is meant to let out my emotions... nothing else.. so whenever I feel like doing it, I will write... Anyway, well I told you guys in my earlier post that Im going to India and work in the industry there, guess what, I did and it was awesome.

When I Left Malaysia on the 1st October at 8.30 am, my heart was filled with excitement, the thought that Im working in a Indian English Bollywood project was thrilling. When I reached Goa and meet the entire crew of the film, I was so happy and was looking forward for the shoot. We started shooting on the 3rd of October, and that was the same day when reality checked in. Shooting a film is so not easy man, It was really though, especially the camera and lighting department . Well actually it was a lot of work for every department in a film production but I felt that the Camera department had a lot of work to do, setting up the light, getting the right lighting, etc etc. I was running like a mad dog here and there helping out my cousin brother who was the cameraman of this film.. when I think of all those times, I just cant believe that I managed to pull through man..hehe... but in the end, it was a magnificent experience and I dont at all regret my decision coming to India and joining this production. Oh yeah, I was also in charge to shoot the making of this film I hope I did a good job.

Now to talk about the film, this film is titled 'Love Wrinkle Free' and it stars Ash Chandler and Shernaz Patel( she played Rani Mukherjee's mother in BLACK) in important roles. The story is a simple story which of course I cant reveal but its a light hearted story which I belive everyone will enjoy. This movie is directed by a debutant named Sandeep Mohan who assisted Sanjay Leela Bhansali in Hum DIl DE Chuke Sanam , produced by Giju John of Tiranga Productions and cinematographed by Binendra Menon, trust me, in a few years time Binendra chetha is going to go big cause he is that good in his cinematography!!! Since its a small budget film, Im not sure if will there be any distributors who will distribute the film in Malaysia but Im praying that this movie will be released here. We shot the film for a month in Goa and in Mumbai but I didnt join them in Mumbai as I left to Kerala by then.

Now after completing this shoot, I went to Bangalore to stay with my aunt for a few days and then a relation of mine sent me to Kerala by bus. I can still remember thinking in the bus, when I reach Kerala, I may have the chance to join another big name director and hence start off my career in India. Was really excited.... When I reached there...... I dont want to eloberate more.. lets just say that I just dreamed too much I guess...... But besides that, I managed to meet all my relations and in no time, I became so close to them. I never meet them in my life but they all were treating me with so much of love... something I have not experienced here for a long time... Didn't realize how much I missed it and how nice it is to be surrounded by family members.....

I now back in Malaysia........ there is one part of me feels that my dream has been destroyed and Im never going to achive my dream anymore, the other part tells me that there is still hope and dont give up.... but then again, I realised that back there in India, none of the filmmakers has the desire to leave their country and try their luck in Hollywood but they always say that they want to be part of the revolution of Indian Cinema. Which indirectly shows that they love their country and the Indian cinema industry that they just dont want to leave it. Its not because they are not as talented as other International Film makers, trust me, they are equally good as them if they are given the freedom and opportunity. Here, I so want to leave my country and try my luck in another country.... I know its not wrong because I can go learn things there and come back and do something here..but I dont know...

I still have the feeling like here in Malaysia, the hope for our films to achived International recognition has been buried together with P.Ramlee and Yasmin Ahmad.. I feel so low when people over there in India asks me whether does Malaysia make films etc!!! I just feel like making a Malaysian film which has all the ingredients to go International!!! It is not possible but... I dont know where to start.. Believe me guys, we have all the facilities to make and produce good Intenational standard films.. do you know that Yasmin Ahmad's Petronas Ad's are hugely loved in India!!! When I speak of the ad, lots of people will just be praising those ads like nobodies business!!! So proud when they say good things about our country's ads etc...... Now......

Can anyone achieve what Yasmin Ahmad could at the International level? Can we see a revolution in Malaysian Cinema soon? Can we make our own version of the Lord of The Rings trilogy with realistic looking CGI's and Animation and an original script? Will one of our Local films win The Best Foreign Film category at the Oscars? The answer to all this questions is... YESS!!!!! But it takes not one, but the entire people in the industry to be different.. Thats the keyword, DIFFERENT!!

We got to start thinking big guys!! It is possible!!! Nothing is impossible in this world!!! Do you know that we Malaysians are far more expose in so many current things that is happening in the world compared to India!!!! But look where they are and where we are in terms of Filmmaking!!! Im really going nuts here.... I want to take the challenge and revive what the late Yasmin Ahmad and the Legendary P.Ramlee wanted to do, to bring Malaysian movies to the next Level!!! But I cant to this alone.. I need support, come on guys, there is still hope.... instead of pointing fingers and blaming lots of things, lets just take the first step and prove to the other Malaysians that Change is possible and we can reach where Hollywood has!!! Im not exaggerating, I know it is possible!!! But I need your help, your Believe...

Will there be somebody out there who is willing to be with me to change and revolutionize Malaysian Film Industry?

The Experience,The Unbelivable & The Dilema of making a Decision

2010-08-09T01:31:00.000-07:00

Its been almost two weeks since I and sis came back from India, earlier, I told you about Bangalore and the thrilling experience of the auto ride etc. Well, I olso went to Chennai actually and Chennai was exactly just like how i imagined. We stayed at the old city of Chennai near Anna Nagar and the traffic, the atmosphere all were really hetic. Too many vehicles, cows and people on the road, just as i said earlier, if you can drive in India, you can drive anywhere in the world :-).... I couldn't get the opportunity to see the famous Railway station of Chennai as it was located at the new Chennai city... but its okay, I will be going back soon so I will check all that out......

Overall, the journey was good, I manage to visit Rajiv Ghandhi's memorial before leaving back to Bangalore... i dont know why, but i felt very sad when i stood in front of the memorial...the atmosphere was filled with sadness... Anyway as we experienced another 7 hour drive back to bangalore... i was just thinking....

It was a dream come true for me to visit India...that happened...it was my dream to board a plane and travel abroad...that olso happened..now, i have another dream that may happen as well... being a part of the Indian Film Industry... When i was there, i met an uncle who was an ex award winning documentary Filmmaker, Mr. Ravi and guess what... he knows India's top cinematographer, Mr. Santosh Sivan's family.. and he told me that if Im going to Kerala, please let him know, he will try to arrange a meeting with him, and you may never know, Santosh might take me as his assistant as he is known to be a very humble person and likes to help people who are intrested in this field of cinema..that's what he said... Tears filled my eyes... seriously.. i didnt expect all this to happened you know... and adding to that, i have a distant relation who is an assistant to another India's top cinematographer, Ravi. K. Chandran.. I spoke to him and he told me that if I can come around October, I may get the chance to be part of his team as he has a project coming up....

Now, back in Malaysia, I spoke to dad and he told me that he is happy with any decision I make.... I still havent decide anything yet.. but I know, opportunity is knocking on my door and I have to make a decision whether to open the door and welcome it inside or not....( Sorry couldnt upload any pictures yet, will do that soon okay)

Bangalore so far......

2010-07-19T23:41:00.000-07:00

I had a few imagination on how India or Bangalore to be specific would be, the lifestyle, the people, the streets etc.etc. When I landed, i was really excited, my uncle's place from the airport is about 1 hour plus drive and my, it was the most thrilling ride I ever had. The way the drivers were driving their cars, auto's, trucks were all.. how should I say, dangerous maybe :-P and the traffic congestion is SERIOUSLY bad...small road but tons of vehicle's..hehehe.. but they were extremely skillful..no doubt!!!..

Bangalore is extremely cooling despite of the heavy pollution and construction..the air is so fresh and cooling..Yesterday, I went to the town by auto and it was an experience!!! I really admire these drivers and the way they drive...man...hehehe... but whatever it is, It's so COOOL...

Im having lots of fun and just dont feel like going back to Malaysia.ost probably, I will be pursuing my studies here in India... India has its ups and downs, just like in Malaysia, but its a lovely place with lovely people.... India MERE JHAN, Me TUMSE BOHOT PYAR KARTI HAI!!! Hehehehe.... by the way, even though Bangalore is a state in KARNATAKA, here they mostly speak Hindi..... Looking forward for more wonderful things over here..till then, Namashkar
:-P..hehehehehe

Excitement Blues.....

2010-07-16T11:51:00.000-07:00

Im actually suppose to be asleep at this very moment as its already alomost 3 in the morning, what the hell am I doing up so late?? Actually, being awake at 3 am is nothing new :-P... but tonight it is bothering me, I just want the day to come faster so that I can head to the LCCT and board the plan to INDIA... hahahaha...yess, im leaving to India on the 17th of this month with my sis.....

The reason is because my sister want to do her degree in occupational therapist and India has the facilities for that course while for me, Im basically going to check out my chances of entering the film industries or television stations over there cause seriously, i dont see any bright future for me and the field im in at this very moment, so Im going to check out on that as well, if that doesnt work out, then I will most probably do my second degree in cinematography at the Pune Film Institute...One of the leading Film institutes in India and the world. These past few days, I have been having a craze for cinematography, so if everything goes well, then i may do that too. Another thing is that if I can get to do the degree, then my chances of entering the industry is a bit more better..we will see how it goes.....

Its going to be a different atmosphere, people, lifestyle etc.etc. But Im really looking forward to it, I told myself that by this year, I will leave the country, and now its happening, I hope very soon, in this very blog, I can say that Im part of the film feternity and I'm currently under my idol Mani Ratnam :-)... Nothing is impossible.... If you believe in it...

Yesterday,....Today....

2010-06-29T10:31:00.000-07:00

Its the month of the World Cup fever... everyone is excited about it.. I too was excited until certain unexpected thing happened and it just made me lose interest on World Cup. Never expected it to happened at all... What actually happend? I dont know....

But on the brighter side, after 4 years, I went back to my hometown... Cant describe my feelings going back to where my grandparents once lived and now, they are no more and the town feels like a stranger to me... Its hurting but whatever i say, i just cant deny the fact that God has never let me and my family down, in the sense that all the family friends that we have over there welcomed me like their own family member... Especially Dance aunty...

We call her that because she is a very good Bharathanatyam dancer and instructor in Sitiawan.. She had to go for a operation, so I decided to go and take care of her with her 2 sons, Sara and Kumar Anne... Man, i really missed Kumar anne a lot.. he used to play pranks on me when i was small and we were very attached to each other till now... Was so happy..in fact it was him and his parents who were by my grandad's side when grandma passed away... They have done so much for my grandparents and i can never forget that.. I thank God He blessed us with these wonderful people..... I feel that i had to do my part to take care of Dance aunty and im happy i did it....
Leaving Sitiawan was so heart breaking... I wont deny that I was crying like a baby when I left her house.... Not going to see Kumar Anne for sometime and this very peaceful town my grandparents once lived... In the hospital, i just couldnt let go myself from hugging dance aunty...and like what my grandma always use to do when ever i hug and cry to her...she hugged me tightly and consoled me...... I love you all so much.. Thank You for being with us....

When I came back, it was back to the same old routine, I manage to go and watch my idol's latest film, Raavan and Raavanan.. It was mind blowing..though not mani ratnam's best but it was good... The cinematography of the film was simply superb... Santosh Sivan, another cinematography i really admire.. his shots, camera angle, color all is just that good... I loved Vikram's performance as Veera... it was another performance that surely puts him on the same league as Sivaji Ganeson and Kaamal Hassan....

It was a memorable weeks i had these past few weeks, both good and really bad.. but all this things are teaching me a lot as well and i have finally learned to stop being in denial for certain things...... I wont say it has do me any good as i have just started to realise and its hard but i know its for my own good.....

Thats all for now... will be back for another intresting facts if there is any :-P....

Life after Uni...

2010-06-01T02:28:00.000-07:00

Finally, after 4 long years in Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman, i have finished my studies and got through all the semesters... In that 4 years, there were many ups and downs I faced, but it was all a learning process and I did learn a lot. But there is one thing that I have to say, I was lucky because I had the Best lecturers to guide and feed me with extra knowledge on my passion...Thank You so much sir's and maam's...its priceless, really learned a lot. Now im basically waiting for the World Cup to end and then start pursuing my dream even further, in the mean time, i just finished a script that i have been working on for some time, other than that im basically just at home watching movies and once in a while go out.

I have been thinking of a story that has really interest me. It was told by a friend of mine about an couple's deep love for each 0ther. After thinking and visualizing it, i realize that this story would be good if its made as a short or a feature film but i cant make a feature film at this moment so I'm going to do a short film based on this story. This is not the normal bollywood kind of love story but its a bit different actually, and the climax of the story is really different i can assure you.... So for now, i will be developing the story even further to suit it as a short film, furthermore after catching my idol Mani Ratnam's latest production, the Raavan trilingual's trailers, Im even more determined to write the screenplay of this short film..really cant wait to catch the Raavan in cinemas, just get goosebumps whenever i watch his films.

I olso managed to watch Hritik Roshan's lates, KITES and i must say its a decent film, not the best though but it was good. Hritik still at his best with his dance moves, acting etc. The actress Barbara Morri was olso not bad, she did quite a good job actually, overall it was a watchable film for all Hritik's fans. But im not surprise if some are dissapointed with the film..hehehe.... Prince Of Persia series was my favourite game in the PC and PS2, and watching the first feature film of this game series wasnt dissapointing personally for me, but there were a few flaws that maybe could have been improved like the camera angles during the fight scenes for instance.

Overall, this last month was kind of a memorable month for me for different reasons..hehe..so now I shall go and start developing my next screenplay ya...Cheers.

Pain

2010-03-13T23:20:00.001-08:00

When the first time i saw you.... I didn't know what to say... i thought i was seeing just another ordinary girl everyday, but... you were attractive, and there was something you had that made me curious.... curious to get to know you.. I don't know why but, it felt very different....

When we first spoke, honestly, I forgot everything around me.... all my concentration was on you...only you.... then we parted.... felt very normal initially... later, it kicked in.... never felt like this before... I was missing you a lot...... why??? You are just another girl I met, why am i missing you so madly???? I thought to myself... Can this be it???? Is she the one??? Am I... in Love??? NO!!!! I didn't want any sort of that coming into my life now, there are much more important things for me to focus on... but... i couldn't... she kept on coming in my dream, like an angel of love, showering me nothing but pure love.... It was beautiful.....

I saw you again, this time, God was very kind, we both chatted for hours non stop.... loved every minute of it..... then... you poured out your sorrows.. and I gave my shoulders for you to cry on and console you... it was one of the best time i had in my life..... being able to be by your side when you are down.... and you... understood how i felt for you.......

Then the day came, i decided to confess my true feelings to you..... you called,, and i poured it out... you wondered why, i said its because you are simply, caring , humble and beautiful.. you denied it and wanted time... I gave you time.... you took it and accepted me... You had no idea how i felt.. out of the world..... then, it was all beautiful.... even those moments of us trying to understand, adjust to each other, it was a process of my love going deeper and deeper on you... in the end, I was completely into you... Gosh.... it was deep and full of LOVE.......... I thought to myself.. it is confirmed, if I'm going to have someone sharing my ups and downs in my life, it would be you.. and you did..... for 365 days......

Then, it all changed, why?Why did it change?? People say, the mistake I did was I loved you so sincerely ...... Dint I poured so much of love to you? Why?......... Even till today, I have not got an answer for it... its really painful, feel like my life is gone forever.... I loved you so much..... so so so much!!!! I did what I only can do the the person I love.... is it wrong? I don't know.... Even today, my friends at times scold me.. why do you bother thinking about the person who has hurt you so much.. you... I'm not thinking of you actually... but the character you created for me... even though it was a lie.. it loved me so much and poured so much of beautiful memories and love that I cant forget..... but I'm not waiting for you... I am leading a happy life with all my loved ones... but.... I want you to know... that you.... have lost something really precious.. and trust me.... you will never get it from anyone else..that I guarantee... Because sincere love is hard to attain... and you took it for granted and threw it away without realising how precious it is.... One day you will go through what i went through.... what goes around comes around.....and at that time...think.....

JUST THINK....

The One Thing I miss every New Year....

2010-01-01T09:10:00.000-08:00

Well, 2009 ends, 2010 arives... two more years left for mankind, then its a long que up the heaven's gates waiting to check in there or Hell for internal.. man, its going to be a massive que up there, hope His angels would have organised and prepare themselves for a busy schedule in 2012....hahahahaa.... Just joking.. i seriously dont believe in all that... Now 2009 was a year i will never forget... because it was a year where i went trough a roller coaster ride... trust me, the ups and downs i went through were massive but like i always said.. im very thankfull i went through all of it as it taught me many good things.

I know, there will be more roller coaster rides coming in 2010 and beyond, but this year would be a special year cause with His grace, i will be graduating in August and start off my working life before i do my Masters.. its not going to be easy but im not going to give up.... my aim is very high and i know nothing is impossible and i can achieve what i want.... Many people now including some of my loved ones just take me and my passion for granted. At times i feel like i just dont have anybody to share my passion on films... all those who listen to me speak actually listens for the sake of listening and they never actually had intrest at all... there were even at times where when im talking, they just cut me off and start a new topic... Damm, it use to make me angry like

hell... but now, when i think about it, i must actually thank them for doing all that, because if they wouldnt have done that, I wouldn't have this much of fire in me to come up and achive what i want and show these people who i am. Thank you if you know who you are guys.. seriously, i dont mean to criticize anyone here but you people really have made the fire in me bigger.

Okay, i know you must be wondering, the title i have written for this post has no connection with what i am saying, so let me get to the point... Yeah, its wonderful celebrating new year.... the most anticipated celebration every year... I must say, i use to enjoy celebrating new year but not any more... the reason behind it.... my grandparents not being around to give their blessing.... from the time i knew the world until the year 2004, i use to enjoy the new year, but after my ammuma(grandma) passed away in 2004, it all just vanished.... new year celebration were just never the same again... it became worse when myappupa(grandad) passed away in front of my eyes in 2006..... Now, i wont lie, we do have parties and i do have fun and all... but thats all just

an act i show out.. inside me, i just miss my ammuma and appupa's voice blessing me to have a wonderful new year ahead...

Now, to say i havent recovered from their passing isnt 100% true, i have recovered, but you know.. at times.... Seriously, life was so wonderful when they were around, me teasing ammuma, arguing with appupa on football, their hug and sweet talks, the special moments when they

advise you to study hard, when they get really worried when you are out and still not back home... priceless... I must say, i was blessed to have a very loving and caring grandparents like apu and ammu... they were always there whenever i needed them... but as what we human beings always do, we take things for granted... those times whn they were around, i never really appreciated them as much how i do now... in fact, i never really got the chance to say I love you appupa ammuma to them during their final days with me and family.....

Love is one thing that they knew and nothing else... ad they showered tremendous amount of love to me and my family...

Grandma always use to tell my mom that "whether others will make us proud or not i dont now, but Ashanth will definitely make us proud one day, dont underestimate him" whenever my mom use to complain my lack of intrest in studying and not having an ambition in life.....

As i write, tears fills my eyes.... i can go on talking about all the things they did for me and my family but for now... I just miss them so much... they are around me keeping an eye on me... their blessings never fades on me... but i would just want a chance to repent all the mistakes i did to them and tell them how much I love and miss them...

All i can do is to fulfil their wish.. to see me and my sister come up and become somebody.... which without doubt will be achieved.. with their blessings..... I love you so much appupa ammuma....

After a long time......

2009-12-13T05:56:00.000-08:00

At last.. i managed to write something after a long time.... seriously, was extremely busy this past few weeks... too sum up... i went through HELL!!!!... the semester was really tough and since it was only 7 weeks... the assignments were cramped up and it wasnt easy at all.... there were 3 subjects this semester, Broadcast Journalism, Creative Strategy for Advertisng and my personal favourite, Film Apprecation, Interpretation & Criticism.

For Broadcast Journalism, our assignments was to create a tv, radio & internet news a.k.a news blog and it was 70% all together. Tust me, it wasnt easy.. We had to cover 5 different news. So as usual, me and my group went to shoot whatever events we could find and started to ed

it them and all. In the end, it was a real good experience though there were many things that could be improved.

Then our exam schedule came up and to our horror, the final paper will be on the 23 of december.. TWO days before christmas... what the hell... but what to do... hehehehe... since im having a long break in between my exams, i decided to go watch some movies... i started doing research on this one film-maker, whom is on my idol list now, Akira Kurosawa..

Man, he is known to have revolutionized world cinema with some of his style being used by top film-makers around the world, some even use his stories and make movies out of them such as Akira's Seven Samurai's

was remade in Hollywood as the Magnificent 7 and few other's as well, sorry, forgot the titles already..hehehehe. But seriously, i tried finding his movies and so far, i only manage to find one movie of his, KAGEMUSHA, havent watch it yet... waiting for my exams to end to sit and watch these masterpiece comfortably.

Another film-maker that caught my attention is director James Cameroon....

I still remember, 11 years ago, when he won the best director for Titanic in the oscar, he said" Im King of the world". Now after 11 years, he released his next venture "AVATAR".....

and guess what.. he really is the KING of the world. The movie is simply awesome, the cgi's, animation, the message he implemented in the story and the action sequence.... mind blowing.... its just a pity that there is no IMAX in Malaysia, or else, we could have witness the real magic James Cameroon wanted us to see in AVATAR.... he actually shoot the entire film with IMAX camera as well so most of the graphics are more emphasised in IMAX .But he really did a great job.

One thing that i really admire about him is his passion. He actually wrote the first draft of AVATAR way back in 1994 but couldn't execute the project due to the technology constraint at that time, but he didn't give up, he patiently waited and in the end he got what he wanted and he did what he wanted.... what great passion he has... marvellous. I really respect these kind of people, people who are passionate in what they do.

AVATAR the movie is another inspiration for me to work hard and achive my dream. If James Cameroon could wait for 17 years before making AVATAR, why not me???? hehehehehe... everyone has their good and bad time... my good time will come one day :-) and i seriously hope that James Cameroon would win the oscar once again for the same category he won 11 years ago. Because he deserve's it!!!!

2009-10-21T22:19:00.000-07:00

Finally... im back to uni life...got to be honest...really missed it... the 8 a.m. classes, getting stuck in jam after class, chatting with fellow uni mates.... great time... last monday class sarted... meet all my uni and tutorial mates.... chatted like hell.. hehehehehe....but despite all this, im still finding it hard to get over certain things that occurd during my time away from uni...... the problem is that i just let my mind control me.. the biggest problem i have been facing since young...... i realise it and im trying my best to control my mind....

By the way... im in my final year now.... just two semesters to go.... i have told myself that im going to work really hard for these two sems... no more playing the fool..... but in order to do that... i need to control my mind... very badly actually.... I should learn how to move on and not look back at the past.... sometimes i feel..... do i mean anything to people???? I realise these days that some people i know dont seem to be intrested or care about my presence..... well, i dont really give a damm about it but at times it does get into you isnt it??you can look it in two ways... either they are so comfortable with me around that they can be themselves towards me or they are just not bothered about me...... but my question is, what did i do??? I know.. im complaining now... just couldnt help it... at times, i feel really scared to be alone.... i just get the feel of being neglected..... i know im not alone.. i have everyone beside me... but there is something.... or someone... i dont know.... thats missing now.....

I dont know what to do..... except just having faith in GOD....... He has never let me down in any way actually.. but when He testes me.... at times its really tough..... He is testing me now.... and all I need to do is to face it bravely and learn from it......... It will make me a better person.... one thing i realise in myself is that.... i tend to put others are more important than me myself.... a very wrong thing to do..... very wrong...... Hope i will pass this test as well.....

7 Shades of Love.... Dil Se

2009-10-17T08:40:00.000-07:00

I checked out a very old film's official website titled Dil Se... one of my favourite movies of all time not because it was a shah rukh khan's movie but it was my idol's movie.. MANI RATNAM... when ever i hear his name... i get goose bumps... the style of film and his creativity in filmmaking is a masterpiece.... while going through the website... something really attracted me.... the 7 Shades of Love... Dil Se..

The 1st Step
HUB - eyes meet,
it is like a touch..
a spark
- ATTRACTION

The 2nd Step
UNS-the touch of the eyes
was as if ......
INFATUATION

The 3rd Step
ISHQ-the flame of her body is felt,
his breath starts igniting
- LOVE

The 4TH Step
AQUIDAT- she touches him like a whisper
as if silence is mixed in her eyes,
he prays, a little consciously,
a little unconsciously
- REVERENCE

The 5th Step
IBAADAT- he is entangled on her path,
entangled on her arms..
Love now turns into
- WORSHIP

The 6th Step
JUNOON- Living is an obsession,
dying is an obsession,
apart from this..
there is no peace
-OBSSESION

The FINAL Step
MAUT-let him rest
in the lap of death
let him drown his body
in her soul
-DEATH

Fantastic movie by MANI RATNAM..... GENIUS........ A must watch movie... A very deep and realistic film by the MASTER......

21 years of my life......

2009-09-29T11:11:00.000-07:00

For the past 20 years of my life, I went through so many things....... meeting people which we call friends and many other trivial things yet very important in everyone's life...... And for me, i always complained to God... why was i born with a cleft, why am i not talented in this, that...... why cant i have a lot of friends... why didnt i get selected to be a head prefect in school, why do other people get better opportunity compared too me etc etc...... Nothing but complain...

At that time the only person who always consoles me was my dearest grandma..... i was extremely close with her.... but its human beings nature that when you get something good so easily, you tend not to appreciate it... and thats exactly what i did.... i took her for granted at one point of time.... and she and God gave me a very good punishment.... she left all of us in 2004 on my granddad's arms... just like that.... and all our lifes were crushed....... especially my mom and myself.... it was then i realised how important her presence was for me...... and once again i complained to God.....

After that i experienced a few other things such as relationships, sibling rivalry, relation rivalry, friends who back stabbed... this that..... too much of pain........ and to add salt on the wound... me and my family actually witnessed my granddad passing away right in front of our eyes... another point in my life where i hope no other grandchildren would experience.... its extremely painful..... and there i go again..... complain....... can you belive it... I was doing nothing but complain complain and COMPLAIN!!!!!

But this year... everything changed..... my perception of my own life changed..... because it was this year that i actually saw the real picture of how my life has turned out...... and i realised that God was so kind and patient with me all this while... He just accepted all forgave all my tantrums and scolding( well i treat Him as a friend so at times yeah i do scold Him :-P hehehehe) and blessed me with more happiness and priceless experience....... how?? Well the very first thing I always complained is that i dont have many friends.... but He patiently showed me that you dont need 100 friends to be with you but you just need to have ONE sincere Friend to be with you and your life will be beautiful.... and He blessed me with 3 Great friends, my dearest sandya, sathes and sathiyaan..... these people are always there for me when i need them.... their support is so crucial in my life..... their presence make me feel safe and comfortable..... they just have such a strong impact in my life.....Not forgetting another big brother of mine... Janash anne for always being by my side when i need a brotherly advise and love.... thank you so much.....

Then of course my family..... my dad, as i mentioned in my earlier post... the role he plays in my life.... just really glad to have a father like him..... but i think my mom is my pillar for everything..... she has basically taught me how to survive this cruel world... the things she has and is going through for the family is really painful, yet she still stands up and faces it so bravely.... those who knows my mom calls her the IRON Lady as she is known to be a very strong and tough women.... i used to get frustrated when my mom at times just jumps at me without seeing the real picture and all that but now, i realize that not only my mom, but all the moms in the world do that to their children because they love them so much and they just don't want anything to go wrong for their children because they cant see their children down, upset etc.... the love she pours to me is so much that i just cant imagine a life without her presence....
my sister on the other hand is another person whom will go all out for all of us including her friends.... to be honest... im not very close with her as we are just so busy with our daily routines and chores but when it comes to family or friends events, she will always be the first one to help out and make sure's the event becomes a memorable one.... and i believe if it wasnt my sister's planning , i dont think i would have had a unforgettable and a mind blowing birthday celebration this year.... all because of these people in my life....

So now... is there anything missing in my life???? Honestly nothing.. i have everything i need but as usual... we human beings always wants more, im no different..... you see... whenever i start a chapter in my life....usually, GOD always makes sure that the ending would be bad but for a good cause.. so that i could learn more about life and be a better person... im really glad that i went through all those painful times and all but this time i have started another chapter in my life.. and i belive that the ending would be a happy ending.... in my 20 years of life.... i got whatever that i wasn't so keen in getting without realizing how valuable it is until now, whatever i wanted and whoever i was with turned out to be a disaster for me... until to a point that i thought if i make a decision... it will be really bad.... but now... i have once again decided something and i am confident this decision i made would be a positive one for me and my life.... I leave it to my good friend.. MR.GOD to judge if my decision is right or wrong...... so far, nothing is turning out positive... but soon... you never know...... haha..

But besides that... what more can i ask from GOD you tell me.... He blessed me with so many wonderful people who are willing to give their life for me if needed.... the love that these people have shown me is so great that i am deb ted to them for life!! I can never repay them with anything because its that much of love, sincerity, honesty and respect and how proud they are to have me in their life seriously just brings tears in my eyes.... they have given me so much... more importanly... they accept me for who i am.... thats what that makes me love them so much.......... Now... there are more wonderful people that i have meet and they too have shown me lots of love and caring.... GOD is really kind to me.....

THANK YOU GUYS........ I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH...

One Common Problem..... LOVE

2009-09-24T07:49:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought whether is love really a problem???? Well, if you've ever been in love, there has to have been times when you've scratched your head in frustraion and asked yourself" Why the HELL am I in LOVE!!!".Many couples are basically experiencing just that, the complications and complexities that come hand in hand with love.
But science teaches you that every action must have an equal and opposite reaction and every PROBLEM must have a SOLUTION.... And the solution is basically the answer in the words of four young gentlemen.

"All you need is LOVE......LOVE is all you need"- The Beatles

This Past Weeks......A Life Changing Experience

2009-09-08T10:02:00.000-07:00

This past weeks have been exciting at the same time very upsetting as well.... the exciting is that after a long time, i finally had a chance to shoot a short film. A short film that a friend of mine wanted to do, and she is not even exposed to any sort of knowledge on this field of broadcasting, film etc. Thats why i really admire and respect her... this is a fine example of a very passionate person wanting to do what they are passionate about.... had lots of fun during the shoot... since i am the only one who has a certain amount of knowledge in filming, i was held responsible of the post production stage of this short film... she really has high hopes on me and i hope i wont disappoint her....

And the disappointing thing these past few week have been how i have been behaving and getting to know some very heart aching things...... you see... my mind actually has been thinking a lot on so many thing... there is something bothering me a lot... but i don't know what is it.... I try my best to find the source of whats bothering me but i cant seem to find it.... hmmmm... and yeah... really miss my friends..... have not seen them for almost a week!!!! You he any idea how long is that???? hahaha... what to do... just love them so much... thats why a week is like a year for me...... another thing is my weight... ya, i have lost some fats... but it's still not good enough... I want to see myself having a body like... no one actually... just want to be in a healthy condition you see......hehehehehe

Well, there is another thing that i am dissapointed as well... but i cant say it out... or shall i just say that i am not in the situation to say it... basically regarding my passion... you see at times... its really sad when you are passionate about something... though there are many positive things you can say about passion, but there are also many negative things about being passionate as well isnt it? But whatever it is... i thank God for making me go through all those things I never expected to go through just because of my passion... it taught and gave me something valuable... experience......

Now... I believe... its not easy or lets just say you will never appreciate what you can get or do easily... only by working hard and suffer a bit to get what you want will make you appreciate it... so please... never take things, people and relationships for granted..... you will only realise how valuable that thing, people and relationship once its no more... once it just slips out of your hands as easily as how you got it... mark my words... it happens...... I dont know wherether Im the right person to say this, but enjoy life to the fullest... its just like a roller coaster ride... the things that you go through in life is pricleess... cherish every moment of it....

Live Your Life The Way You Want!!!!!

2009-09-02T11:06:00.000-07:00

I dont know why all this why I have always tried to impress people by being a total different person and making myself to be an idiot actually. I mean what the HELL was I thinking??? Why first of all I have to impress people??? They should accept me for who I am and not me being someone who is so not me..... Im just being honest to myself and the people I meet about who I really am but I think if they dont like it, then its too bad... I always have friends who know and accepts me for my real self. As long as they are with me, Im fine.... Ya at times I can be a bit boring and childish, but at least Im not being a stranger to myself..... I always allowed people to put me down.. but now, NOT A CHANCE DUDE!!!!! I am not going to allow that anymore and I am going to live my life the way I want... You don't like it, please get lost, thank you!!!!

There are many people right now who doesn't portray their true self just like how I use to be... But seriously, dont lie and cheat yourself... you are just going to regret it sooner or later... be happy with what you are and who you are... nobody is perfect... if there is someone who is perfect, that would be GOD Himself... Tell yourself that you are unique and special, you have a talent that others dont have, a powerfull passion... stop being a follower, be a leader... you have the credibility to be a great leader... stop letting people decide who you are!!!!! You have the very same brains that those human beings has so start USING IT!!!!! Even if the girl or guy you love are totally different with your personality, status and all, dont give a damm about it!!! Believe in yourself , love yourself first, others will automatically Love you!!!

Remember, Life is full of challenges, instead of sitting down and complaining about, STAND UP and FACE IT BRAVELY!!!! Trust me, it will take you somewhere you will never expect in your wildest dream!!!!... Thats what I have started doing.... and it will do me good..... Have Faith.....

2009-08-29T07:25:00.000-07:00

These past few days, i have been missing someone so much... God its so hard to explain the feeling.... and i dont know why i suddenly became like this.... no, that person is not my girlfriend but a female though, haha... but she is means a lot too me..... I seriously dont think i would miss my girlfriend so much as i im missing her right now.... her name is sandya.... an angel in my life... just like how i idolise my dad, thats exactly how i idolise her... more than my dad actually..... the things she has done for me is so great.... and i cant afford to lose her at any cost, no way!!!! The bond I have with her is unique and different... I love her a lot and i pray to God that she is blessed with happiness always.... just cant see her down..... Thats why i believe in this one thing, Love is the most wonderful feeling God has created for us but , the side effects of love can be very painful at times... haha...

Frustrated

2009-08-12T11:32:00.000-07:00

I have always been leading my life with other people's decisions and opinion... there was never once i lead my life with my own decision except a few minor ones.... Why??? is it because whatever decisions that i have made always goes wrong and screws up my life at that point extremely bad??? I guess so because now, people just know me so well that they can already predict what's my next move in life.... for instance..... relationship... I dont know wherther i can proudly say i experienced four different sort of relationship with girls.... and none of them to be proud off..... Because all of it ended up with the girl leaving me for another and cheating behind my back.....

Many told me that this relationship's is not good and it wont work and seriously I hated when they said that.. with a burning determination i wanted to prove these people that they are wrong... but.... hmmm... and all the girls that i went after was my friends friend........ and now... once again i have a crush with one of my friends friend..... predictable right.... and i know, those who know me, they must be saying "OH GREAT, THERE HE GOES AGAIN"......... but they dont know what im going through inside.......

Now seriously im not that intrested in doing anything about my feelings... i just leave it to God.. He will know what to do.... i really want to prove everyone wrong but at the same time i dont want to hurt myself... so i just tell myself that if that person is meant for me, we will be together.... but i just hate the fact that im predictable..... seriously it has been ages since one of my real close friend has actually talked heart to heart to me.... but i go to that person when im down...... why???? im just unreliable to comfort the person is it???? or is it because Im just so useless that nobody wants to give me a chance???? Or the person might think I cant give good advise????? I dont know... maybe im just thinking too much...... everyone is grown now..... except me....

But you know what, im happy like this... grown up people are so boring... facts facts facts!!!!!!! when you are down, they talk facts of life... when you lose someone, they say death is part of life, live with it!!!! What the hell!!!!! come on... why must everything be fact!!!! I believe at times, its good to throw out your feelings, emotions and be like a kid!!!!!! well, please dont think im crazy here..... Im just letting my thoughts go wild......

I have a dream where one day, everyone comes to me to make a decision!!!! My presence is extremely important for the world... nothing but the name ASHANTH KUMAR should create an electricity that makes people go crazy over me.... everyone making me their idol, everyone learning the true meaning of respect, humbleness and down to earth from me.... Gosh, I dont know why is there so much rage in me right now.... i seriously dont know...... I just cant wait for the day where my biggest decision that i make in my life will be one of the most important and greatest for the entire human race and those people who looked down and still doing so on me......

Im sorry if i sounded arrogant or harsh.. truly sorry... I just feel like letting out my feelings..... everyone has a dream and I am no different, but there is a very big reason why my dream is such..... Will tell about it soon.....

Ajaya.. celebrating 50 years of life 2008

2009-08-10T05:23:00.000-07:00

We celebrated my dad's 50th birthday last year. Mom decide to make a grand celebration for dad as you know, all the things he has done for the family and friends and seriously we had a blast, you see i never saw my dad going high when he drinks as he is known to never over drink but that night he was high and I saw a different side of my dad actually. My dad, being in the army always have maintain a certain extend of strictness to us all, but that night, he was extremelly childish, joking and laughing around with his schoolmates, family and whoever present there.. hahaha.. it was a nice scene to watch actually.....

My dad life story is a very inspiring one actually, being the second among six sibling, he basically too the responsibility of bringing up the rest of his siblings... A very smart student but my grandfather just couldnt afford to send my dad for his higher education, my dad's schoolmate once told me that when my dad was in form 4-5, he always used to fail his science subject, so often that the school headmaster publicly humiliated my dad by saying he will never succeed in passing his SPM (sorry dont know what they called SPM during my dad's time). Upon hearing that, my dad felt really hurt but inside he was so angry that he wanted to show his headmaster who he is. Well you might think he waited for school to over and then go and whack his headmaster outside school... that didnt happen actually, he started to work extremely hard non stop and in the end, he actually passed his science subject with grade A1... and guess what, the same man who humiliated him in front of the whole school had to present the best student award for his achivement in front of the whole school. For me thats not suprising at all because i still see him doing that till today.

After graduating from high school, he wanted to pursue his studies, that was the time unfortunately grandad retired and told him he cant afford to send my dad for higher education. Broken hearted, my dad had to work as labourer, lorry driver assistant, and a sweeper in some factories in Penang before deciding to join the Malaysian Arm Forces. My dad was one of the few army officers who got rid of the communist from our country, something im extremely proud of.. who wouldnt isnt it... Dad married my mom in 1986 and i was born 2 years later, the same time my dad was promoted to major in the forces. Well to say that he enjoyed being a soldier, i dont thik so because, there were just too many politics happening where, people cant accept soldiers who speak nothing but the truth, they only like people who obey what they say and follows them, wherever they go like a dog.. i think you get who i meant by the 'PEOPLE' right. That was the reason it took my dad 20 years to get promoted to a Liutenant Colonel.... so you see... when i was born, he was promoted from captain to major and now when im 20 he is promoted to a colonel.. NOT FAIR AT ALL!!!!

There is this one thing that i envy my dad, his heart... you know, people can backstab him, use him and treat him like a dirt but when they need his help, he is always wiling to do so, and when we ask him why, he says, its always good to forgive and forget as we all make mistakes... Another incident that i must say is quite sad actually is when his dad passed away. You see, when my grandad passed away, my dad was in Indonesia serving the United Nations for the problem that occured in Timor Timur, and my grandad passed away a day after my sister's birthday which was on 14th april and he died on the 15th... my mom immediatly informed the Military headquartes to send this message to my dad as soon as possible. We all did what was needed for the funeral and hoping my dad would call.. During the time we were about to take my grandad's body for the last rites, my dad called, and he sounded so jovial which made us all think has my dad been so shocked that he is now mentally unstable??? the truth was, he called to wish my sister happy birthday and he had no clue of his fathers passing, when my mom told him what happened, he was shocked but he composed himself immediatly.. thats the beauty my dad has... he just can face anything that comes in the way....

Now, he olso accomplished his dream for 15 years, getting his masters, he did his masters in International Islamic university with high grades. When i look at my dad, i see a man who has survive many battles. He is my idol and seriously i think i am one of the luckiest person in the entire universe to get a great man like him as my dad.

I can go on talking more about him, but then its okay... i'll stop here for now.

First Step

2009-08-09T11:57:00.000-07:00

Well.. this is the first time i actually writing a blog so i dont know how to start actually... seriously i dont know what made my to start blogging actually... hehehe... anyway, as times passes im sure i will have tones of things to share with whoever who reads my blogs.. hehehehe... To start off.. Im just a normal human being.. i guess... and im really into filmaking.. hoping to be better than Steven Speilberg one day.. Lots of dreams and things i want to do... Im currently doing my Degree in Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman and in my final year now.... In the past 20 years of my life.. i must say i have gone through a lot of hurdles and experienced things that i never expected to experience at such an early age... but then, who can stop what is written in our lifes right... haha.... I love my family a lot and my grandparents were and will always be my inspiration... They were the only ones in my family who were supportive with my decision to make filmaking my life career... but till today i still cant understand why didnt they show that support in front of me?? Now they are with their Creator watching me and my family... haha... really miss them so much actually..... Really love all my friends and.... hoping to meet my dream girl soon.... hehehehe